Based on requests to get the asiansoftpornboobjob chick off the main page, I'm blobbing tonight.
Sorry, Mot. It appears that Phukmee Nao has been voted off the island.
And so, blobmates, let's talk about freedom. I told Mot that birds were my leitmotif for Chaco. (Since I'm 45 and still paying my student loan, I get to use words like 'leitmotif'. Next blob, I'm using 'weltanschauung').
Everywhere I turned, I noticed birds -- sitting on rocks, crossing my path, flying overhead, eating my cilantro lime chips in the middle of the night. Birds aren't that prevalent in Chaco, so I had to take notice. And, I've had SO many fantasies around birds and flying. Jumping off a building in a superman suit. Base jumping. Trying for air on my skis when, at my age, I have NO business doing so.
Birds = FREEDOM. In all caps. I'm finding that, I WANT FREEDOM!!!! It is coming out of my pores.
One of the happiest times of my life? I was living in France, in grad school, and had a ton of vacation time (gotta love the European education system). Every weekend and vacation, I got on a train, didn't care too much where it took me, and just experienced. EXPERIENCED. I was free to change destinations, wake up times, meals, museums, hikes, naps......
I was completely alone, not at all afraid, wide-eyed, and receptive to ME. My wants, desires, moods, and energy. Sounds selfish, was it? I do know that I spent many a night in a family's home, or at a spontaneous dinner, or just in conversation with random people -- I think, because I was completely in the moment, responding to some sort of universal pull, I was actually more available and connected to others. Ironically.
So, to cut this short, I wonder how I (and maybe we) can incorporate MORE freedom into our lives. I don't think that "freedom" has to be a solo European journey, or just MY unique experience. Can't it be be integrated into our everday lives? In fact, it must. Otherwise, it's a luxury that only a few can experience, and I know that God wants this bliss for ALL of us.
How can I be "free" in a relationship with a man? "Free" with my children? "Free" with my civic obligations? Just free. Looking for your thoughts, beloved blobmates.
2 comments:
So, one of my old buds used to say freedom has to be balanced by responsibility in order for it to "feel" right. How does THAT work? I think it works when you're true to your values. Which can be tricky cause sometimes values collide. Is leaving the Town Council a choice FOR freedom? Or is it irresponsible. You could argue that it IS actually responsible--more time with girls, more attention to job, more time for romping in the woods. The litmus test seems to be how it feels. If the council "experience" always feels constrained and hard, hard to see how that equates to freedom.
Late, so that's all I've got for tonite blobmates!
BRING BAK PHUKMEE NAO!!!!
Mot
A wise man once said that "Freedom is just another word for nothing left to lose." I think it was Confucious, but I don't know because my student loans are paid off, conceivably because my education was cheaper and therefore less gooder than Gala's.
Although this could be construed as a bleak portrayal of freedom, there's something to it, yes? The whole unfettered lifestyle, no worries, nothing to care for or about... sounds a lot like the bohemian scene Gala described in France.
But the trick now seems to be how do we translate the aimless freedom of youth (consequenceless partying, not showing up to work, etc.) into our adulthood, now that we have homes, kids, businesses, etc. and most likely would like to keep our electricity turned on?
Can it be done? I think it can. I read an interview with Nelson Mandela where he said that even in prison, he was free because he believed it in his mind. So is freedom then cerebral and not physical? Are we back to the detachment school of thought again? Love the circular nature of the blob, blobmates, even though it ties my cerebrum into knots.
I personally find freedom when I clear my mind of worry and strive to be in the here and now, no matter what is happening in said here and now. I read a line last night that wowed me: Our futures are becoming our pasts at an alarming rate. It didn't have the effect of making me worry about my future, but rather made me even more dedicated to the idea of enjoying each moment NOW. Before it is my past.
It feels like trying to widen the knife edge we walk on between future and past. And that was the feeling Gala's France experience elicted from me - Wow, she was PRESENT. Also reminded me of "Eat, Pray, Love."
And I agree with Mot - if the TC experience feels constrained and hard, it probably does not equate to freedom for you, dear Gala. Sometimes liberating ourselves from whatever is confining us MIGHT appear to be irresponsible, but that's why we shouldn't judge, right?
As for relationships, I think it is our choice to give up freedom or not. Just don't. If he loves you, he'll set you free. If you come back to him, you're his. If you don't, you never were. Gag.
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