Day 18: Doubts

Can't help but wonder if all this is voodoo.  That you can actually craft a happy life?  Seems too good -- too genie in a bottle -- to be true.  But, am thinking this is the devil on the left shoulder whispering to me.  And that because I'm asking for BIG things to come true -- become real -- then the disappointment if it doesn't come to pass will be all the bigger.  Better to not ask?

I wonder if having doubts sabotages it?  And how would you say NO to doubt anyway (isn't that a double negative?) -- it's like trying to not pay attention to the fly buzzing around in the window -- the more you try not to listen, the more it drives you crazy.

Faith seems to be the answer -- the only real option, the only way out.  No logical or rational argument solves it, just a sense that there has to be more.  So, in faith, in hope, in belief that there is a force for good, I'll keep asking and trusting and opening.  Tentatively.  :)